early goodbye

2 weeks. 2 freaking weeks. and im gone.

The nearer the day comes, the more surreal this feels.

Lembah Beringin. For me to actually get accustomed to that lifestyle, well. It's gonna take some time.

Opening a bank account today (haha), shopping tomorrow and friday, sleepover this weekend, school on monday, catching up with friends, complete shopping list, study(oh hell), packing, savouring every bit of my last moments in jb, cry(high probability).

Okay so im not much of a fan of change. As hard as i try. It didnt take me long to adjust to the life without him around but once in a while i do relapse. And usually when that happens, it gets ugly. hmm. But when im in sane mode, it's pretty easy. huh.

Things i have to get used to :

1) not having familiar faces around everyday
2) living without my mum's cooking
3) Co-existing with 3 other girls. i dont dare expect anything.
4) No tv shows. i have to stock up on dvds. hmm
5) not having aliah annoy me everyday.
6) Wearing ugly court shoes.
7) Other stuff that entails with living in a residential college. haih.
8) Not having enough time on my hands. This, i am afraid of.

Ah heck. 3 weeks from now, class starts and I have to bust my ass up there to make it.

I do look forward to the holidays tho. hee. 5 days in feb, one week in march, 4 weeks in june. one week during raya.

i hope everything remains the same.

blank

Im bored. I dont feel like re-reading anything. Jane eyre is getting kinda drag. Well, at least i got past the first few chapters. Ill probably survive the first Eng Lit class. I havent read up on economics coz i think i would either get bored or depressed. Waiting for the time to go out and get all the stuff i need. No mood to continue my story.

Boredom is unhealthy for me. Anyone who knows me well would agree with that.

Still considering the idea of joining the kickboxing club next year. Depending on what kind of training they will offer. Pretty much set on spanish club.

July, why are u so bloody far away?

the songs of the story

I cant sleep. And i cant bother u either. haha

Wish i had some cross stitch to do. But i know it's too late to start a new one anyway. Need to get the old one framed. I don't wanna touch Brida just yet. Somehow i feel i need to reserve a special time for it. hmm. Continuing Jane Eyre. Also finishing the last pages of my diary. Cant wait to choose a new one for next year. =D

The smell of my apple hand cream reminds me of u. I remember that afternoon. haha.

Finally, something to do tomorrow besides staring at the pages of a book or a tv screen or of a laptop. People watching time! And i mean in general of course. Im not a pervert. pfft.

Perhaps ill read jane eyre to myself and fall asleep. Coldplay, Priscilla Ahn and Beautiful Mess aint doing the trick tonight. I was kinda awed by Muse's latest music video, Undisclosed Desires. I never paid much attention to them before. huh. Oohh... and also the new one by Daniel Merriweather and Adele : Water and a Flame. That's about it i think.

I want sushi.

I was annoyed. sorry. good luck. ;p

simply because

updates. heh. wouldnt want it to come to the point where u feel visiting my blog is pointless. =D

im high. and therefore beware for the aftermath. I need to sleep within a couple of hours. tho i truly doubt i can fall asleep before 2. hmmmm.

I just did an inventory on my book collection, because i am so bored. hahha. I need to clear out the bookshelf. No more space for my books. I have no idea how many ive got now, lost track a year ago already. Some of the books i deem unsuitable to be in my possession much longer shall go to the jumbo sale collection next year.

Tomorrow is ze sleepover..haha finally! Endless chatter and consequently mind-boggling secrets revealed(except those that must remain a secret). heheheh.

Still reading The Shadow of The Wind. I cant stop reading it halfway. Kind of impossible. Therefore, Pride n Prejudice, Jane Eyre and Brida must wait. Altho Jane Eyre should come next, Ill probably go with Brida. Or maybe i should take it with me to kyuem and read it there. Along with 5 other favourites of mine which i refuse to leave behind. hmm. Leaving my precious books behind is rather difficult, if not very. I'm clingy, I know.

I wonder what they will be serving there.. Seeing there's gonna be free meals three times a day. hahaha. I have a feeling i wont be able to sleep well for the first couple of weeks. Or maybe that's just a presumption i made coz i expect myself to be homesick and such. I wish i had the experience of being a boarding school kid. Wait, scratch that. Ah well. As they say, desperate times call for desperate measures. Ill live. Somehow.

I will miss the science world. Yes, definitely.

Cant wait to go back to school next month tho. haha. Probably coz i wont be apart of it anymore, officially that is.

Huh. Weird. I feel tired already. Tomorrow is also LOTR marathon day. WHEEEE!!!! hahahahahaha.

Why is it that i cant find One Republic n The Fray albums anywhere and yet everywhere the disney kids' albums are sold?? =.='.


I knew that i was going to lose you and that you would never see in me what i see in you.

- Penelope Aldaya, 1919

say

So okay. Got accepted. hmm.

I don't know what to feel. It's kinda partial. Apart of me feels great, simply coz i got accepted. But even more so i feel worried and pretty much dreading this. huh. Being the worrywart that i am, uncertainty and doubt are mainly what i am running on.

I have a month left to so-called enjoy myself. Hopefully without my ears suffering from constant reminders to do well, take full economics instead of the AS level, get straight A's, dont slack and no, u cant get a macbook and no plane ticket either.

I wish i could just lie on my back in a pool/sea and stare at the clouds and think of nothing but happy daydreams. I wish i could stand on a cliff overlooking the sea in the cold weather under a big tree with a swing. I wish i could read peacefully on a green, hilly area where the wind is blowing softly. I wish i was with you.

words are not enough to make me believe you

SPM IS OVERRRRRR!!!!

hahaha wish i could express more excitement now but i suppose i wasted all my energy with the new-found freedom on the day it was actually over.

internet has been crappy and i wasnt exactly in the right state of mind to be reporting bout the fact that the misery is over. for now.

no letter yet. altho i dont even know when i should be expecting any. haha. so much to do, so little time. or so they say.

schedule's pretty packed. and im happy with that. 3 novels to read for now, first volume of jane austen.

news update. okay im officially pissed off. NOW i am definitely not in the right state of mind to continue this post. au revoir

tomorrow is the last day of spm. hahaha

and all i can feel is worry instead of pure joy. i felt joy after physics but the 4 day gap just made me go on and on pondering about the possibility of really bad results. (for those who know me, you know what BAD actually means). now i regret taking accounts. pffftttt.

sorry for complaining. sometimes it isnt easy.

i want u here.

I hate sore throats. And a blocked nose which makes it ten times harder for me to continue dreaming of mountains and lakes and big oak trees.

Watching new moon on the 9th. I hope it wont be as painful as i expect it to be.

Finished a book today instead of reading chemistry. The gift, by cecelia ahern. it was the only light material i was willing to read. haha.

Couldnt stop listening to priscilla ahn. I want her album. But i cant find it. Cant download either. Stupid laptop. And one republic's album, waking up. Nakkkk.

It's not fair that they get to be with you anytime they want.

anywhere. there.

I really dont want to be here after spm. It's not funny.

Well, that's what i feel now. Ask me again tomorrow morning.

lalablabladibladibla

PHYSICS IS OVERRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!

waaaaheeeeehoooowheeeeeeeeee!!!!!! =DDDDDDD

cant think of any other way to express my joy and elation.

i feel like a heavy weight has just literally been lifted off of my head. that grey cloud filled with laws and principles and forces is just gone. gone!

going KL tomorrow. haha i know, there's still chemistry. but yeah. See first la my tahap kemalasan tonight macam mane. hmm. nahhh. i dont wanna go.

cant believe 10 subjects are over n done with already.

I wanna watch V for Vendetta again. And read shadow of the wind again. and then ill move on to hamlet. or maybe ill just delay that one and read other stuff from coelho or raymond khoury.

but most of all, i wanna enjoy my 10-hour sleep everyday. provided aliah doesnt make me go running on weekends. gahh.

Current interests :

tv show : KINGS and castle
song : dream n lullaby

plan for 8th dec

3.30 pm : right after paper 3 of chem

act 1 : run to the field and scream and laugh and act like fools
act 2 : take pics with blazer in the field
act 3 : run down to the car, cabut
act 4 : go eat at sedap corner(since it's the nearest) and buat kecoh there.
act 5 : disperse, go home. watch tv. online. sleep. hee.

Never today, just dream your life away.

Sleep.

Feeling crappy has like this whole new other meaning now. Why is it that of all subjects, i end up being pissed at accounts the most?? And all i wanna do right now is well..nothing. This sucks. The part where i feel all alone in the misery is a lot of fun too. Thanks. Thanks a lot.